“Getting the tip in hurts the most because the head of the penis is the widest part, Once you are past that and up to the shaft, it’ll feel a little better. Remember how much regular sex hurt for some of us?” Anna Breslaw- A Complete Beginners Guide to Anal Sex
What Is Anal Sex?
Anal sex is a sexual activity that can be enjoyed by both male and females. When most people think of anal, they define it as a penis inserted into an anus, which is true, but that is not the only way to engage in anal sex.
Anal sex can be performed in many ways with the use of toys, a mouth, or fingers. In fact, there are toys specifically designed for all stages of anal play for beginners, intermediate, and advance anal explorers.
Although anal sex is a hot topic among many people, it is not a new sexual activity. Veritably, it has a long history, and it was not founded by gay men. ( Sorry loves)
A Short History Lesson on Anal Sex & Sodomy
In a Kinkly article, sex writer and educator, Gigi Engle, explored the not-so-taboo history of anal sex inspired by an exhibit that was held at the Museum of Sex, located in New York.
Engle shared the following, ” Anal sex is found in ancient Peruvian Moche Culture. It was depicted in a variety of pottery. In ancient Greece and Rome, men were believed to be attracted to men and women, sleeping with both. The concept of homosexuality and heterosexuality did not even exist. Everyone was essentially bisexual.”
In summary, anal sex became taboo due to the rise of Christianity, which led to sodomy laws that criminalized people in various states who engaged in the sexual activity. Fortunately, as time passed some states began to allow people to participate in anal sex in the 1960’s; while conservative states such as Texas didn’t remove sodomy until 2003 when sex became legal for same-sex partners living in the U.S. territory.
Now a decade and some years later, it is typical for partners, sex educators, and friends to have discussions around anal sex. Although it has returned to its throne of hot sexual pleasure, many people are still curious about how to have and enjoy anal sex.
How-To Have Safe Anal Sex
( Keep in mind: Not everyone enjoys anal sex, and that is OKAY!)
- Relax: If it is your first time trying anal sex you must remember to relax for an enjoyable penetration. Our butts have sphincter muscles that contract and open the anus voluntarily. You can practice relaxing these muscles by squeezing your butt muscles to tighten them and then releasing. This allows you to know what it feels like to rest your anus entirely, for enjoyable penetration.
- Lube: Unlike the vagina, many people fail to realize the anus does not lubricate itself, so lube is a must. While it is best to use a condom when exploring anal sex, be sure to use water-based or silicone-based lubricants to keep condoms from tearing or breaking in the middle of the sexual act. When having anal sex, there is never too much lube: in fact the more lube, the better.
- Foreplay: It is important to remember to include foreplay when preparing for anal sex. It helps the receiver relax, and its fun. Some foreplay tips for anal would be inserting a finger into the butthole so the receiver can get a feel of what it is like to be penetrated in their rear-end, or investing in anal sex toys.
- Take it slow: Anal Sex is a practice you can’t rush into. It takes foreplay, consent, and communication between two people to set the mood for the receiver to have an enjoyable experience. The receiver is in control of anal sex, and once they feel as if they are ready, the penetrator must remember to take it slow when they begin penetration.
- Protection: There is a lot of bacteria hanging around the anus, and it is essential to protect you and your partner from it. Depending on the type of anal sex you have -oral, penis, toy- use a condom. If you plan on having vagina sex right after be sure to switch the condom because you don’t want to transfer bacteria from the anus to the vagina ( use a new condom every time). All forms of protection can be used for anal sex; condoms, dental dams, gloves and female condoms.
- Breathe: It is best for both participants to breathe during the steamy sexual activity. Breathing helps your muscles relax, and for some woman, they tend to forget to breathe due to the pressure of penetration.
- Have Fun: Most people find anal sex to be reviving. The anus is an erogenous zone for some people, and any stimulation in that area can be quite pleasurable. There are multiple positions you can try, and as mentioned before there are an infinite amount of toys you can choose from. Just keep these few tips at hand every time you engage in anal sex and relax.